Lessons from Nehemiah

I am currently preaching a sermon series on Nehemiah and am thoroughly enjoying what I am learning from this great re-builder of Jerusalem's walls and identity. There are many important themes regarding leadership and mission that emerge from the life of Nehemiah, but one of the major themes of the book is the way that Nehemiah dealt with opposition and criticism.

This month it has been seven years since I transitioned from being a full-time college professor to taking on the role of senior pastor. The last seven years have been wonderful and blessed in so many ways, but they have also been filled with very difficult moments. I have especially had to learn how to deal with criticism. It isn't that professors don't get criticism (every semester students get to fill out course evaluations), but for a number of reasons parishioners often feel very free to share their perspective on your ministry and leadership. Here are some of the things people have shared with me over the last seven years:

• My sermons are too long.

• My sermons are too short.

• I spend too much time preaching the "love" found in the New Testament and not enough on the judgment and righteousness of God in the Old Testament.

• I spend too much time preaching out of the Old Testament. "Who cares, pastor, what Solomon did. I need to know what Jesus did."

• My sermons are too heady and scholarly.

• My preaching is trite and unbiblical. Quote: "It is forty minutes of stand-up comedy and stories about your children all for the purpose of getting people to like you."

• I'm soft on sin.

• I'm too hard on the saints.

• I'm too critical of people who are critical.

• I'm too demonstrative and raise my voice too often.

• I'm too reserved and quiet and when I drop my voice no one can hear me.

• I preach like someone who never had to sacrifice anything for their country.

• I'm part of the "taker" generation not the "giver" generation.

• I'm a liberal who doesn't take the bible literally.

• I take the Bible too seriously. (i.e. Jesus didn't really want us to give everything away...)

• I'm too political.

• I'm not political enough. (On this point, one prominent leader called me "the low point in the 100 year history of PazNaz").

• I'm disrespectful in the pulpit.

• I don't speak to the common person enough and am overdressed to identify with everyday folk.

• I don't use the altar enough and act uninterested in people meeting Jesus.

• I'm too emerging.

• I'm not emerging enough.

• I'm not a holiness preacher.

• I focus too much on holiness.

• My shirts don't fit right and my shoes need polished.

• I move the church too fast and change too many things.

• I move the church too slow and don't change things fast enough.

• I don't hire enough diversity.

• I hire too many women.

• I'm not involved enough in the lives of the pastoral staff.

• I spend too much time with, and only care about the pastoral staff (and rich board members).

• I'm not a good mentor to younger staff.

• I only care about preaching and not about pastoral care.

• I should know the names and life situations of every person in the congregation.

• I do too much and don't have any personal boundaries.

• I'm here too many Sundays and need to give more people a chance to speak.

• I'm gone too many Sundays and it is terrible when I invite other people to speak.

• "Never give the whole service away to another musician."

• "I wish we had more variety. Like the week we had the musician."

• I care too much about the church being Nazarene.

• I don't focus enough attention on making people good Nazarenes.

• I care too much about what the old people think.

• I don't care enough about what the old people think... They pay the bills after all.

• My children are very well behaved and we are great parents.

• My children are wild and I need to be a stronger disciplinarian.

• When our kids went to public school people told us they should be home schooled.

• When our kids have been in private school people told us they should be in public school.

• I am getting too skinny and need to eat more.

• I'm looking heavier and need to start watching what I eat. (The actual quote was: "You are much fatter than you used to be..."

That's probably enough for today. It is funny that in the last seven years I have received hundreds of positive emails and letters. They are so encouraging at the time, but I unfortunately forget them quickly. However, I can rehearse the list above with very little effort and I remember each moment well. The reality is that all of us have to learn to deal with criticism. So here is what I'm learning from Nehemiah.

1. Consider the source. Nehemiah's enemies were people whose power and lives were going to be profoundly effected if the walls of Jerusalem were rebuilt. Leaders always have to be able to consider where criticism is coming from. Sometimes, whether we know it or not, just our presence or our message is causing changes for a person internally or externally that they are reacting against. Sometimes people are simply broken or facing difficulties and we are just the convenient place for diffused anger and frustration to be placed.

2. Listen for truth. Many of the things I listed above have some truth in them (as much as I hate to admit it). Good leaders have to learn to move past the initial hurt to weigh any truthfulness that criticism (no matter how awkwardly or angrily presented) contains.

3. Don't react in kind. Especially in chapter 6, Nehemiah's enemies try to lure him into a fight. Nehemiah never lets Sanballat or any of his foes lure him into a scuffle. Leaders have to learn to rise above the criticism and not "lose it." Christian leaders in particular have to stay committed to overcoming evil with good.

4. Build a team. Leaders have to have a team around them that lovingly tell them the truth about themselves (thus keeping them grounded and humble) but who also don't allow the critics to have the final word.

5. Keep the mission central. Nehemiah's focus was not his personal popularity but on the mission God had given him. These last seven years have taught me that not every one will share in or be energized by the mission that ignites my passion. That doesn't always make them bad people, it just makes them different people with different concerns and a different vision than I have.

Nehemiah's teaching me that accepting visible leadership comes with both blessings and costs. Nevertheless, I am thankful today for the opportunity to serve with others and work at rebuilding the walls.

Comments

[Chris Johnson]

Thanks for the perspective--I had to face the same while responding to a completely untrue, and surprisingly personal, attack this week filed by an attorney for his client. It's a response to a fee petition, so now I'm in the fortunate position of having his vitriol as part of the public record permanently...perhaps my great-great-grandchildren will stumble upon it while doing genealogy research and wonder if I was truly that evil, incompetent, hidden-agenda-driven and uncaring. I've always wondered how critics can argue someone is so cunning and devoid of brain matter at the same time. I haven't heard things like that in years, but it stings just the same. However, if he said I was getting fatter, there'd be some truth in it.

Not only are Nehemiah's lessons good for us, but they'd work well for the critics too, especially the "building a team" piece. I've found it's difficult to be negative when you have to inspire and be inspired in working towards a goal with others, and the critics are coming from a lonely place and will stay there unless they start listening to Nehemiah.

I hope some of the encouraging things you hear stick--you have fans in my house, and your preaching and perspective has made a difference in our lives.

[~ marty m.]

Scott ~ This is an actual list isn't it? This is the most hilarious thing I've read in a long time! Good for you to keep these in order to demonstrate that it truly is the case - you can not make everyone happy! And, what does it say about you that you've maintained this list . . . ? Very funny to me. You're the best! ~ marty m.

[tim milburn]

Scott: I'm encouraged by all of the discouraging comments you've received. Because they offer a lesson on PERSPECTIVE! Everybody's got one. Opinions are easy to find. But not everyone is called to leadership. Keep up the great work you're doing and thanks for sharing from a transparent heart.

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Scott..remember me from aurora? reading this list made my day..you go guy, whatever, whereever God leads. I will put you on our prayer list. That's what Don and I do everyday..That is our calling. Love, Phyllis (say Hi to Deb for me)

[Joe Zambrano]

Joe Zambrano here - WOO HOO! That is a list of list's! Good thing you don't have hairy back like me, they might be afraid you're trying to make a case for evolution!

Thanks for the reminder that leadership, no matter how great will always have it's critics!